Last night, saw the ex roommate/ex best friend/non-romantic ex at a party of a mutual friend. His girlfriend jumped when I appeared on the roof, probably safe in the assumption I wasn’t coming since I was (in true Columbia fashion) an hour and a half late. Her interactions are so obtuse sometimes. I only knew them by their silhouettes and my boyfriend grabbing my hand since my glasses were elsewhere. They shared some secretive muttering in the dark while I caught up with friends. We made approximately two seconds of eye contact downstairs while I hugged someone, and two seconds later I heard him say to his girlfriend, “We can leave whenever you want,” at which point they gathered their things and left. And I flipped off their backs and danced as they closed the door, because, you know, maturity and things. And that was it. I proclaimed massive victory (only ten minutes had elapsed since my arrival) and returned to drinking “Luscious” wine and catching up and having a generally good time. I allowed myself a few moments of introspection on the empty roof but ended up just talking to my boyfriend about the times I spent sneaking onto the roof as a teenager to be pensive.

After the initial rush of adrenaline when I arrived, and the lead-up anxiety, when I made eye contact it was like passing eye contact with a person you vaguely recognize. There’s that slight awkwardness of recognition and the mutual choice to ignore. It doesn’t create any feeling of anger or sadness. It just is what it is. The only difference here is I’m not an acquaintance. Clearly, he’s made the decision to forget who I am and everything I’ve done for him and he’s done for me because I put a bike in the living room and then moved out in an effort to preserve our friendship when the yelling was too much. So it’s done. He’s done and I’m done, and last night was goodbye. I don’t feel anything about it except the desire to analyze it like a social experiment gone awry. What happens when two best friends break up as if they were romantically involved, though they never were? The same thing, minus sex.